Farewell Romance by C. J. Dennis

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[Dr. Grinker, a specialist on nervous and mental ailments, of the Chicago Medical School, says that we should abolish indiscriminate marriages, forget that hallucination called love, and choose our life partners as a cattleman chooses his stock. - News item]

Help us, Hymen!  Cupid! Venus!
   Can this awful news be true?
Has this monster come between us
   All your teaching to undo?

Grinker!  Gods defend us!  Grinker!
   Venus!  What is this all about?
A professor?  Scholar?  Thinker?
   Pah!  Come, Cupid, knock him out.

Grinker!  Oh, Olympia's dwellers!
   What a name, and what a creed!
No more love; but, buyers, sellers.
   Picking out the "stock" we need.

What of sighs and tender glances?
   What of blush and downcast eye?
What of fragrant, sweet romances?
   What of kisses on the sly?

What of, "George, this is so sudden!"
   What of, "Darling, answer 'Yes'!"
Such things are enough to madden --
   (Shocking rhyme, I must confess).

Gone, all gone, because of Grinker,
   Gone the wooing, gone the sigh;
Never more "dear girl" we'll think her,
   But a head of "stock" to buy.

Cupid, lay aside your quiver,
  Hang a sign and drop a tear.
(Ugh!  The prospect makes us shiver).
   "Mr. Cupid, Auctioneer!"

First published in The Gadfly, 2 January 1907

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This page contains a single entry by Perry Middlemiss published on January 2, 2013 8:32 AM.

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