Shweemeesh by C.J. Dennis

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Chocolates have recently been discovered in Melbourne containing five per cent. of pure proof spirit.

I would offer you a "snifter," but there's nothing in the house;
And if I bring a bottle home the wife is sure to "rouse."
But a sweetmeat on occasion with her full approval meets;
So, have another chocolate; they're such nice sweets.

She holds "views" concerning alcohol; and probably she's right.
Too many "spots" do harm a man, especially at night.
Go on, old man, just help yourself. It's nothing much in treats;
Still have another chocolate; they're such nice sweets.

Whaz 'at? Oh, yes, the flavor's fine when once you get a taste.
Here, grab a han'ful! Azzer style. Don't let 'em go to waste.
They're quite innoc--(ick)--ocuous. Beats alcohol by streets.
Here, have anuzzer schocolit; they're sush nice sweets ...

S'sh! 'Ere's a wife. ... 'Ullo, me dear. I'm entertainin' Smith.
A lirrle box-a schocolits. Not mush to do it with.
Whaz 'at? Strong drink? Mosh shertinly -- not -- so! I'm on th' leash
'Ere, darlin'. 'Ave a schocolit; they're sush nicesh sweesh.

First published in The Herald, 17 October 1931

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This page contains a single entry by Perry Middlemiss published on October 17, 2013 7:14 AM.

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