The Gentle Politician by C.J. Dennis

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[Mr. Speaker - "Order, order." . . . Mr. Crick again rose. . . . Mr. Wood - "You withdraw the 
expression." . . . Mr. Crick (excitedly) - "I say it was sent by a ____ ____ of the Telegraph.
If I get him to-night I will pull his windpipe out." . . . Mr. Speaker - "Order, order."
 - A trifling incident in N.S.W. Parliament.]

[Mr. Watt rose to inform the Speaker that Mr. Sangster had called the member for Melbourne (Mr. Boyd)
a low cad . . . Mr. Speaker (hotly) - "Did you say it, sir, or did you not?" . . . Mr. Sangster -
"I did say it; I mean it.  I withdraw it." . . . Mr. Boyd - "It is the beer talking."  ("Chair!  
Chair!") . . . Mr. Sangster - "Liar!"
- A little affair in the Vic. Legislature.]

The gentle politician is
   An animal I love,
His glorious position is
   So very much above
Our ordinary station, and
   You've but to hear him speak,
Just hear his conversation, and
   You'll be convinced he's meek.

The strongest word he uses is,
   "Low cad."  His verbal battery,
Unused to foul abuses, is
   Inclined to flattery.
His honeyed phrases weary one
   He speaks so low and pleasantly,
Tho', p'raps, if he's a beery one,
   He'll call you "liar" presently.

Just watch him as he walks about,
   Our legislative halls,
Just listen as he talks about
   His enemy, and calls
Him names, that sound like tinkling of
   Sweet vesper bells at eve.
(He'd damn him in the twinkling of
   An eye if he had leave.

Oh, the gentle politician is
   So very meek and mild,
His saintly disposition is
   As gentle as a child,
Opponents jolt and jerk him, but
   His self-restraint is grand,
A little child can't work him, but
   He'll feed out of your hand.

In fact, he'll feed from any hands,
   he is so very tame,
And hungry, tho' there's many hands,
   Against him for that same.
I love his gentle, peaceful way,
   I love to hear him shout,
But best I love the graceful way
   He pulls a windpipe out.

First published in The Gadfly, 11 July 1906

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This page contains a single entry by Perry Middlemiss published on July 11, 2013 7:23 AM.

Kisses and the Rhythmic Principle by C.J. Dennis was the previous entry in this blog.

Synthetic Beauties by C.J. Dennis is the next entry in this blog.

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