A Song About Feet by C.J. Dennis

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Although Larwood is out of the first Test team, and is said to be suffering from various foot and knee ailments, he continues to bowl in County matches.

I sing of feet.
Hearken to the rhythmic beat
Of my metre.  For completer
Tidings now we sit and yearn,
We would learn
Specific'ly of the position.
Definitely the condition
Of one pair of sporting feet.
Why does rumor see to cheat --
Why does news still refuse
Details, duly amplified?
Why are fuller facts denied?
It's utter rot!
Will he play or will he not?
Can you blame our rising heat?

Consider all the tales we meet.
Think of this scant news we get,
Fraught with mystery and fret:
First of hints and hopes a parcel,
Tales of troubles metatarsal,
Now a blister to affright us
Underneath a toe,
Now a sign of synovitis.
Still the rumors grow.
What's gone wrong?
We yearn, we long
To have the story made complete;
We madly bleat,

Pray forgive the way we greet
Tales like these;
And tell us, please,
Does he gallop to the wicket?
Can he face it? Can he stick it?
Shades of Spofforth, Jones and Cotter!
Does he tremble?  Does he totter?
All this vague, uncertain rumor
Hardly suits our present humor.
Speed the truth by urgent cable.
Is he active? Is he able?
Does he crawl
To bowl the ball
On feet unstable?
Waft the facts by wireless wave.
Tell us how those hoofs behave.
Some say this and some say that,
Tell us, are the arches flat?
Some declare he won't be picked.
Is this the truth, or are we tricked?
If the story is official
We'll abandon this initial
Fuss and fret . . . .
You say it is? O.K. by us . . . .
Pardon then indiscreet
Song of those no longer fleet,
Agonised and incomplete

First published in The Herald, 5 June 1934

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This page contains a single entry by Perry Middlemiss published on June 5, 2013 7:26 AM.

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