McHaggis was a person wise;
An import merchant who
Embraced his opportunities,
As most importers do.
A champion he of foreign trade,
Like others of his school,
Who thought Australian only made
For growing wheat and wool.
The harvesters which he'd import
At thirty pounds apiece
Were of the new elastic sort
Whose values soon increase!
For, when he got them safe ashore,
Surprising as it sounds,
He'd lose by selling them, he swore,
At less than sixty pounds!
McHaggis had a dream one night,
A very horrid dream,
And one that filled his soul with fright
And made him long to scream.
He dreamt a statesman ruled the land,
A man of graver kind,
A statesman of high courage and
Napoleonic mind.
That statesman asked the Parliament
To say Mac, at the most,
Must sell his goods at ten per cent.
Above the import cost;
Or else the goods in question would
At once be confiscate,
And that the cute McHaggis should
Deal fairly with the State!
McHaggis woke! The jarring chord
He could not straight perceive;
And then he murmured: "Praise the Lord,
I still have power to thieve!"
* * * * *
Oh, gentle reader, do not scoff
At this wild theme I've found,
For there are any number of
McHaggises around!
First published in The Bulletin, 18 October 1906
Author reference sites: Austlit, Australian Poetry Library
See also.
An import merchant who
Embraced his opportunities,
As most importers do.
A champion he of foreign trade,
Like others of his school,
Who thought Australian only made
For growing wheat and wool.
The harvesters which he'd import
At thirty pounds apiece
Were of the new elastic sort
Whose values soon increase!
For, when he got them safe ashore,
Surprising as it sounds,
He'd lose by selling them, he swore,
At less than sixty pounds!
McHaggis had a dream one night,
A very horrid dream,
And one that filled his soul with fright
And made him long to scream.
He dreamt a statesman ruled the land,
A man of graver kind,
A statesman of high courage and
Napoleonic mind.
That statesman asked the Parliament
To say Mac, at the most,
Must sell his goods at ten per cent.
Above the import cost;
Or else the goods in question would
At once be confiscate,
And that the cute McHaggis should
Deal fairly with the State!
McHaggis woke! The jarring chord
He could not straight perceive;
And then he murmured: "Praise the Lord,
I still have power to thieve!"
* * * * *
Oh, gentle reader, do not scoff
At this wild theme I've found,
For there are any number of
McHaggises around!
First published in The Bulletin, 18 October 1906
Author reference sites: Austlit, Australian Poetry Library
See also.
