Poem: Americant by Dido (Edward Dyson)

Australians, a stern appeal,
   A cry of anguish thrown to you:
To native weaknesses be leal,
   Assuming you must have a few.
In any circumstance at all,
   When trouble takes you by the throat,
Don't, don't remark with basal drawl:
   "It gets my goat!"
And never wail in accents dree:
   "Oh, gee!"

In asking questions at a pinch
   Don't say: "You get me?" and so on,
Nor speak of something as a "cinch,"
   Nor swear "By Hee!" nor say "Dog-gone!"
If, meaning woman, you say "dame,"
   I'll hate you all till kingdom come,
To say "some girl's" a thing of shame,
   And "on the bum"
Is worse; while loathly is the cry
   "Wise guy!"

You say "Poor simp" more than enough;
   Too often murmur "He's a mutt,"
And talk of "jays" and "bug-house stuff,"
   And dub a lunatic a "nut."
Don't speak of "boobs" -- it makes you one --
   Nor "Can that stuff!" with foolish grins.
Sin if you must, but don't my son,
   Sin others' sins.
Let all the vices be home-grown --
   Your own.

First published in The Bulletin, 11 September 1919

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This page contains a single entry by Perry Middlemiss published on April 14, 2007 4:46 PM.

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