The Lawyer Man by Max A.

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When people gather to discuss
The railway freights, the motor-bus,
Or anything allecting us
   Within our social plan;
Wherever people meet to spout,
To turn the Gov'ment inside out,
You'll notice somewhere in the rout
   A fervent lawyer-man.

At pleasant Sunday afternoons,
Where Judkins weaves his mystic runes
And Parson Edgar rolls his tunes
   And Woodful's in the van;
Where Johnny Wren in secret stands
And laughs at all O'Donnell's bands,
While shillings tumble in his hands --
   There lurks a lawyer-man.

Within the Parliamentary hall,
Where statesmen, at their country's call,
Orate, debate, and brag, and brawl,
   And prosper while they can;
Among those patriots grand and good,
Who guide our infant nationhood,
We find, more often than we should,
   The noble lawyer-man.

Too often your domestic life
Is vexed by sounds of bitter strile;
Beware lest you offend your wife
   And fall beneath her ban;
All anxious to redress her woes
(More well-informed than you suppose).
There sits and waits, with eager nose,
   The wily lawyer-man.

You're not a dull, unsocial grub --
You often toddle to a club,
Sit down to have a quiet rub
   Of bridge whene'er you can;
Your partner, when the rubber starts,
Will growl because you made it hearts,
And prove his case with subtle arts --
   You've struck a lawyer-man.

In politics, in social sphere,
In your domestic circle, dear,
Over your billiards, bowls and beer,
   You'll meet this conquering clan.
The days of kings and crowns are past --
To dim oblivion they are cast;
The monarch of the world atlast
   Is He, the lawyer-man.

First published in Melbourne Punch, 5 July 1906

Author reference site: Austlit

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This page contains a single entry by Perry Middlemiss published on July 5, 2012 9:03 AM.

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