Poem: Warning to Essex Evans by A. Meston

   By the earth and by the Heavens
   I do warn you, Essex Evans!
   That your Muse must cry a halt,
   For your history is at fault!   

   We can stand your Welsh halloo
   With its cockadoodledoo!
   And your Taffy-land conceit
   O'er the Maori men's defeat,
But 'twas not the Cymric playing that surprised them!    
   It was not the legs or brains
   Of the Welshmen held the reins;
It was just the awful language paralysed them! 

   Why, the Irishman and Scot
   Merely hatched a graceful plot,
For with them the Maori men were not in danger;
   In every friendly fight,
   These man are too polite
To take laurels from a guest, or from a stranger! 

   But what I wish to say
   In a peaceful sort of way,
Is something; that will kill your little story
   Of the Cymric warriors bold,
   Who in desperate days of old
"Laid the Roman legions out in all their glory."

   That statement is a teaser
   For Tacitus and Caesar,
   Agrícola and Galgacus! 
   Would Evans try to make us
Believe this poet's tale of sportive omen?
   No Roman sighted Wales! 
   Never saw its hills and dales! 
No Roman saw a Taffy, and no Taffy saw a Roman! 

   'Twas the Caledonian Britons
   Who fought without the mittens! 
Who faced the Roman phalanx and strewed the land with slain! 
   In the Pict and Scot we trace 
   The old death-defying race
Who baffled back the Norseman and the fiery-crested Dane.

   Now just warn your playful Muse
   With that ancient piece of news,
When the first King Edward murdered all the poets found in Wales! 
   As their failings now are yours,
   For old history assures,
They were killed for writing poems telling wild historic tales.

First published in The Brisbane Courier, 21 December 1905

Note: On 16 December 1905 the Welsh Rugby Union team defeated the touring New Zealand All-Blacks 3-0 at Cardiff Arms Park.  This was the only loss on tour for "The Originals" and George Essex Evans, being a true Welshman, glorified the victory in verse (see below) in The Brisbane Courier on 20 December, 1905.  Archie Meston issued his poetic warning to Evans the next day.

ONE FOR WALES by George Essex Evans

   O, the Thistle and the Rose,
   They are nursing knees and toes,
And the fiery-hearted Shamrock has gone under,
         But the gallant little Leek
         Had the unexpected check
To fall upon the Silver Fern like thunder.

   From the land of Silver Fern,
   Land of heather, rock, and burn,
Where wild rivers watch the snow-crests towering o'er them,
         Came the conquering " All Blacks,"
         Full of brand-new football knacks,
And Saxon, Scot, and Celt went down before them.

   But the mountains blood is strong
   In the land of war and song,
And the stormy hills of Wales are old in story;
         And with stubborn heart and stout
         Tuffy laid the Maori out,
As he laid the Roman Legions in their glory.

First published in The Brisbane Courier, 20 December 1905

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This page contains a single entry by Perry Middlemiss published on October 30, 2010 10:25 AM.

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