Works in the Herald 1937

Scientific investigation has disclosed that car colors are an important factor in road safety.

When first we bought our motor car
With many a jolt and many a jar
   Our nervous system went awry;
   But how she charmed our prideful eye.
She was a shining beauty then,
The envy of all motor men;
   Her color known as "nigger brown,"
   Gave her aesthetical renown.

But like a beautous woman, she
In beauty found fatality,
   Attracting other cars that sprawled
   Across her path as if enthralled.
They bumped her here, they bumped her there
And left their love-pats everywhere.
   Even the gate-posts as we went
   Reached out and left another dent.

At first we could not comprehend
What such behaviour might portend;
   Then reckoned it must be her hue
   And had her lacquered royal blue.
It was no use. While still she shone
Bumps and abrasions still went on;
   And, while her beauty still endured
   This curious fault could not be cured.

Now that our car is eight years old
Our pride in her goes somewhat cold.
   Her shade, a sort of mottled mud,
   Shows many a mark of field and flood.
But, tho' of beauty now bereft,
There is this compensation left:
   We travel minus fret or fuss;
   For not a car bumps into us.

Herald, 1 May 1937, p4

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2011