Works in the Herald 1935
EPISTLES TO AB - FARIES OF POLITICS

Fourway Farm,
February 8, 1935.

Dear Ab,

This is the second time you have wrote me to ask advice about politics. Now, Ab, I thought I had already tole you that during the last twenty year politics is a thing about which I donít give advice not to no man even my son.

Iíve had me lesson, lad, and in the wisdom of me greying hairs I donít eether advise argu or abet politics in any shape or form in any circs for any reason so hep me bob kiss the book.

If you want to know how to vote in these here elections coming on all I got to say is use yer own nut as best you can not forgittin to remember that you are getting a bit too old to believe in Sandy Claws.

I have in odd moments studied in me own mind the various noofangled noshuns of guvmint and isisms and ologies and I got to own that the best discovered yet, so fur as I can see, is our own democracy.

But no system yet invented by man, Ab, was ever yet perfeck.

If it was we would all be angels and wouldent need no guvmint.

But no free an independent voter aint going to get no good out of democracy if he donít leeve Sandy Claws out of it.

Pretty near every election you will find him hanging about somewheres and the bloke or party what is shoving him forward is genrily the one that is out and wants to get in and hopes to do so by appealing to that class of voter with a Sandy Claws mentality.

You know what I mean. Some foke will swaller anything if it onley looks pretty enuff.

Well, Ab, seems to be that doorin this coming election Sandy Claws is going to come out pretty strong the idear being as follers namely viz:-

All that you got to do, my dear little nephews and nieces, is to listen to your Unkle Osker and mark the paper the way he tells you and pop it into the majick box.

Then, when all our side get into parlymint, some nite soon Sandy Claws will come creeping down the chimbley and give you each and all a nice easy job at grate big wages (pade with majick money) and the winning ticket in a State lotry so that you wonít need have to work and there will be two holidays in every week, free beer, and all out of nothink like that.

And that, dear children, is the end of the bedtime story.

The most famis eggsample of Sandy Claws politics as you may remember, Ab, happened a few years ago up in another State when they put a bloke in what promised em the golden aje which turned out to be tin hares. And he had to bust a bank to do that.

They ainít trusted Sandy Claws up that way since.

Be that as it may, Ab, you vote as you like for I absolootly refuse to say a single word to influence you that you may turn on me afterwards like a serpentís tooth.

I think that is about all the news from up this way.

Love from all at home.

Your aff. father.
JAS. JAMES

"Den"
Herald, 9 February 1935, p6

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2005