I received your letter this week containing a apology and a explanation in regards to the way you got me in wrong with your ma.
I accept your apology, but your explanation just makes me laff. The way you youngsters seesm to think you can put it over us olduns just with a few soft words and a uxcuse so lame its got stringhalt, spavins and a ricked stifle jint all in one would make a cat laff.
Howevere, Ab, I am all for peace in this world and the hopes of more of it in the next.
These days, what with wars and rumers of wars and unrest everywhere you turn, I am for peace first, last and all the way down the middle. I am for peace in every shape and form -- fambly peace, municipal peace, interstate peace, nashinal peace and internashinal peace. and I reckin any half-witted he-goat can see plain that there aint no other way for this here world to be saved.
All the same, Ab, when you go and say the raw things about me what you said to your ma, I reckin I ought to come down and give you a welt in the ear hole.
And then to go and pertend you was doing it all to help me, why --
Look here, me lad, aint you ever heard the old saying that old birds is not to be caught with soft soap. And then to think you would go and hold your old dad's intelligence so cheap as to write that sort of letter makes me jumping mad every time I think of it.
However, as was saying about peace. Stands to reason that wars and rows and shindies is all wrong and agen human nacher becos they aint sane. No man starts into a fight when he is cool and colected and reasonable. He's got to work a bit of temper up, and the good books tells us anger is short madness therefore a man who gets his dander up and starts to tear into things is off his panikin -- his is just insane. Which only goes to show you where the world is heading today. Now what I say is let us have peace and plenty of it.
Be that as it may, Ab, when I read that there cheeky letter of yours over again I got a feeling that old as you are, Ide like to tear into you and give you the lambasting of your life. It makes me fare ropable. It makes me see red.
Still, remember what I say, lad. Take a father's advice, work for peace, keep your temper, be sane reasinable and self controlled and you'll help the world's work on.
Love from all at home.
Your aff. father.
|Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2007|