Works in the Herald 1935

First Advocate: "Most shop-girls now work in uniform. They look humdrum."
His Honor: "I go into lots of shops, and I think they look most attractive."
Second Advocate: "Particularly a blonde girl in black." - From a report of the Industrial Commission's enquiry into a standard of living for women.

His Honor walked into the shop --
   For of shopping his Honor was fond.
Did she blush?  Did her eyes indicate shy surprise
In that slim little, trim little blonde?
Did his bachelor heart miss a beat?
   Did she flash him a smile as she turned?
Did his Honor smile back at this vision in black?
   Said his Honor, "The case is adjourned."
His Honor walked into his court.
   Said the advocate, "Shop-ladies lack
Much appeal, I submit, when these dark frocks they fit --"
Said his Honor, "I like 'em in black.
Yes, I like 'em in black when they're blonde.
   And I am not concerned with the cost.
It's a question of taste; and I've no time to waste."
   Said his Honor, "Your action is lost."
His Honor walked into the church.
   "I will," breathed his Honor, and beamed
On his blonde who, alack, was no longer in black,
   For in ivory satin she gleamed.
Said the clergyman, "Say after me --"
   Said his Honor, "My true wedded wife. . . 
Er -- at -- sickness and health....and -- er -- all worldly wealth...."
   Said his Honor, "The sentence is life."
His Honor walked up and walked down,
   Sobbed the blonde, "But you don't seem to care!
Why, my grey, pink and green are not fit to be seen;
   And I haven't a rag fit to wear!
And you always did say I looked nice
   In black suits?  Twenty guineas?  What fun!"
Then she smiled, kissed his neck, as he wrote out the cheque.
   Sighed his Honor, "Your suit, dear, is won."

Herald, 27 June 1935, p6

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2004-07