Works in the Herald 1934

Fourway Farm,
September 20, 1934.

Dear Ab,

You see that I can still manidge to adress you with some show of nateral fambly affection in spite of the fack that our present relations are such as they are.

We have receeved both of your letters.

Or rather, I should say I have receeved both of your letters, because, our of a high respeck for her childish and sentimental belief in modrin youth's loving regard for their elders which is no longer there, I did not show your second letter to your Ma.

So, as I say, I now acknolege receet of your first letter, inclosing your cheque for three guineas, being the fee of my legal friend Mr Bill Sleath for looking up the history of your flash friend Mr Claud le Slosh.

Likewise I acknolege receet of your second letter demanding return of said cheque in langwidge that no son has a right to use to his own father.

In some ways I am terrible disappointed in you, Ab.

To think that any son of mine, what I seem to have reered like an adder in me own busom, should be so far lacking in veneration and trust for the orther of his being as to make personil enquiries of Mr Bill Sleath in re the said legal charge, hurts me more than words can tell.

But I got to own that the pain is mixed up with a measure of admiration for the gumption that made you go to Mr Sleath to find out if said charge was in fact and truth made by him, which it was not.

All the same, Ab, I would of told you, if you had asked me direct, that I made the charge on me own hook, knowing it to be the fair and proper charge to make for saving you from a much worse fate.

As you increase in years and cunning, son, you will come to reelise more and more that second thoughts is always best. And if you had took the trouble to think again you would have saw that three guineas was a very cheap price to pay for what you was saved through me butting in like I did.

And if out of friendship Mr Bill Sleath does not bill me fore the job, is that any reason why I ain't worthy of me hire?

Think it over, Ab, and you will see you ought to be sending me a letter of heart-felt thanks insted of the abusive and vulgar missile which you have rained upon my grey and dwindling hairs.

Let this be a lesson to you, my boy, that we have always got to look after ourselfs in this wicked world.

Which reminds me of old Councillor Prattle of this districk, who was boasting dooring the recent election campain that he had ben ten year in our Shire Council and still dident have a metal road to his own door. But a voice from the back tells him, very right and proper, "Well, if you ain't able to look after yourself in that long time, you ain't got the brains to be much use to us."

Now that you have awoke to the reel facks of life, you will not be looking for a return of your cheque enclosed herewith. So you won't be disappointed.

Love from all at home.

Your aff. father.

Herald, 22 September 1934, p6

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2003