Works in the Herald 1934

Fourway Farm,

Dear Ab,

Me and your Ma both thinks it was a reel nice thought of yours to ask us down to the Centenary celebrations in Melbourne. But I am afraid we will have to disappoint you as far as this present Centenary is concerned. Speaking personally off my own hook, I think it would even have been a nicer thought if you had said you would pay our exes in town. But that is a pleasure which awaits you in the future.

Be that as it may, cronick debility of the fambly purse is only one of the reasons what prevents your ma and me from shaking a festive leg with royalty and other distinguished gests during Melbourne's big beano.

Betwixt ourselves, Ab, though it aint leeked into the city press yet, the districk of Billibilli has reluctantly decided to ignore and boycot this here Centenary shivoo.

So far as Billibilli is concerned there aint going to be no Centenary. And this thriving center of culcher hensforth looks with a cold and fishy eye on such deluded persons within the Shire what goes so far as to mention the word Centenary however pronounced.

I ain't got all the pros and cons of it yet as I couldent get down to the last Shire Council meeting.

But old Dave Doubledab was out here at the farm buying a heifer a Tuesday last and he gave me some inklings.

It seems according to old Dave that certain sinster city inffluences has been hard at work preventing the Royal visiter from putting in a few days at Billibilli during the Royal Tour.

Billibilli had looked forward with such simple confidence to entertaining the Prince at a number of functions (including opening of a new bridge, dedication of new cricket ground, annual flower show, chopping carnival and cetra) that it come as a rude shock to all right thinking citizens of Billibilli to be told off hand by certain upstart brass hats in town that Billibilli could not be included in the Royal itinry.

Old Dave sez the Shire President very near threw a appletic fit when that letter was read to the Council and there was some talk of having it burnt by the public dustman.

However, be that as it may, plans is now afoot to take certain reprisals and all the public bodies of Billibilli and districk is holding conversations and looking for a formuler, while the populis crawls from their holler logs seething with wounded pride.

I hope to get the rights of it when I go into town next week.

Meentime, Ab, I wouldent say nothin about it to your town friends yet awhile as old Dave tells me Billibilli is planning in secret with the idear of using shock tacticks that will make some of them stiff neck burrocrats in the city spring off their high horses and eat humble pie.

Well, Ab, love from all at home.

Your aff. father.

Herald, 6 October 1934, p6

This poem was originally published without a title.

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2003