Works in the Herald 1934

"Don't think," said Chief Justice Dethridge, in the Arbitration Court recently, "that Australia is a worse madhouse than elsewhere. Probably Australia is a saner country than any other." Later His Honor had occasion to remark that breweries (in regard to certain public questions) "stand with their ears to the ground."

Though our eye in recent seasons
   Has a wild and glassy glare,
And we fail to offer reasons
   For the straws that deck our hair;
There are certain consolations
   That are unction for the soul
When we view the older nations
   Gone completely up the pole.

We may be mad, but not so mad
   As others quite bereft
Of reason.  Though our case is sad,
   We've sparks of gumption left.
For, while we have the art to see
   From this our island raft,
How mad the other nations be
That sail the economic sea,
   We're not completely daft.

In regard to hops and butter,
   Wheat and sugar, things like these
Our insanity is utter --
   As evinced by subsidies.
In regard to other matters,
   As events have proved today,
We're not quite as mad as haters --
   Or not so far anyway.

And tho' our land's a troubled land,
   But few of us are found
Making insane attempts to stand
   "With ears upon the ground."
Contortionists might very well
   Attempt it without fear;
But it must come of stuff they sell
When Breweries, as judges tell,
   Are standing on their ears.

Herald, 2 July 1934, p6

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2003-04