Works in the Herald 1934

"Dear Uncle," (writes my small friend, Bobby J.), "I am sending you inside this the reely last bit of history about our State of Victoria. It has been a very hard job indeed to do it all because I reely do not know much about it so when you come to think of that it is easy worth the bicicle which you sent me and also it might be worth a bicicle lamp too which I notice was not there for riding at night perhaps for the doctor or somebody was sick or something.

"But you just please yourself about that.

"Anyhow I think that this history of Victoria is reely harder to write than if I had written a history of England instead which I learned in the other class lower down from where I am now because I know all about King Alfred what burnt the cakes and Henry the ate who had a lot of wifes and was fat and Mister Cromwell who had a wart and said take away that bubble.

"So it would have been much easier if I wrote that instead of this Victorian history which is not very exciting to write about except the bits about Mr Kelly and Mr Morgan but my father wont let me write about them because he says they are no credit to the country so I wont.

"Dear uncle in the last bit I gave you I wrote a very hard bit about Federation and how it happened and all that and now please uncle I want you to let me off from writing any more after that because there is nothing left about Victoria except the depression.

"I don't think you would like that very much specially as I don't know much about is as I haven't got down to that yet on account of having important things to do yesterday because one of the boys at our school got skiting how he could bowl faster than Larwood even. So I challenged him and his very first ball I hit right over the boundary so that will just show you.

"He nocked over my wicket the next time but that dident count because I had proved he was not faster than Larwood or anything like it so when I got home I was so tired that I couldent read anything about the last history of Victoria and the depression and all that so of course I couldent write it and I dont think it is very exciting anyway.

"So please uncle will you let me off of that last bit because nobody reely wants to know about it and perhaps I might write you a reel good bit about the centenary some other time to make up for it.

"And dear uncle please write a letter to my father and say that I can have the bicicle now what you sent me and he locked in the tool house till I done it and now it is done please uncle.

"And if you happen to be in Swansen Street some time soon its a funny thing but I noticed in the window there where they had some bicicle lamps that work by electricity and they are not very dear.

"I dont suppose you will be very excited about this but I just thought I would tell you in case you might.

"So dear uncle that will be the end of my history of Victoria for the present though I dare say it might have some later on so that I can write about it.

Your greatful nefew
Bobby J.

Herald, 3 March 1934, p6

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2003