Works in the Herald 1933

The suggestion that certain methods adopted in the field by the English team are "not cricket" has created an unprecedented crisis in cricketing history.

We mean to say, it never has been granted
   That anyone but England could decide,
In the crease or at the wicket,
Just exactly what was cricket
   And, of course, I mean to say, we have our pride.
The great old game was, as it were, invented
   On the playing fields of Eton, and all that,
And to try to steal our thunder
When you think we've made a blunder --
   Why, dear old bean, that's talking thro' the hat!
We mean to say -- the game originated
   With us, back in the dear old top-hat days,
And the gentlemen who played it,
By their sterling methods, made it
   A top-hole game for sportsmen - hence the phrase.
So, hang it all!  If something "isn't cricket"
   It's our prerogative to say so, flat.
And it's cheek, you know, cool cheek,
When you dash in, so to speak,
   And take the words out of our mouths like that.
We mean to say, there's quite a choice of phrases
   That you might use, if you must make a fuss.
Curse away of you feel hot;
But it's simply bally rot
   To apply our own pet shibboleth to us!
There's the code, you know -- our code, we would remind you.
   We made it for ourselves, and mean to stick it.
And to try to knock us flat
With a boomerang like that --
   By gad!  It isn't done!  It isn't cricket!

Herald, 18 January 1933, p6

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2005