Works in the Herald 1933
THE URGING OF UNCLE
No; I ain't got a talent for races.
I ain't no frequenter of courses;
But I've lately been watchin' the paces
Of some of these promisin' 'orses
Huh! promise? if 'orses 'ave uses,
'Tain't bringin' no joy to the faces
Of uncles wot 'arks to abuses
From nieces wot follers the races.
It's this 'ow. A friend of my niece's
Is friends with a friend wot rejoices
In knowin' a cove wot increases
'Is wealth thro' 'is wise racin' choices.
So we gits the good oil. But reverses
Leaves me with three thruppeny pieces,
While riches pours into the purses
Of friends of friends' friends of me nieces.
Now, I ain't a great reader of faces
Nor wise to the wiles of the courses;
But when I gits out to the races
I meets a nice feller wot forces
Acquaintance, an' w'ispers advices
Concernin' dead certainties w'ich is
All startin' at much better rpices
Than wot my niece tips. So I switches.
Now, I ain't so much 'urt that our riches
Is down to three thruppeny pieces
Because from sure winners I switches;
It's them narsty remarks of my niece's.
'Ot anger within 'er it surges,
She sez, at an uncle wot places
'Is faith in a feller wot urges ...
No; I ain't got much talent for races.
Herald, 16 October 1933, p6