Works in the Herald 1933

According to recent news, a snake which fastened on to a man's leg at Burnie, Tasmania, was much disgusted upon finding that the leg was a wooden one.

That sort o' reminds me of ole days (said Bill)
In the bush at Toolangi, at Switherton's mill --
   A sor-mill, you know -- an' the sawyer we 'ad
   Was ole 'Oppy McClintock, a wooden-legged lad.
'E was walkin' one day for to tighten a peg,
When a tiger snake grabs at 'is ole timber leg;
   An' there it 'angs on, till I fetched it a crack,
   But ole 'Oppy jist grins as 'e starts to walk back.
An' then, somthink 'appens.  We seen 'Oppy stop,
As 'e stumbles a bit, an' looks down at 'is prop
   With a dead funny look.  Then 'e lets out a yell:
   "'Ere boys!  Take it off me! it's startin' to swell!"
Well, we unstraps 'is leg, an' it swole an' it swole.
Snake pisen?  Too right!  'Twas a twenty-foot pole
   In less than five minutes!  Believe me or not,
   An' as thick -- It's as true as I stand on this spot!
We was 'eavin it out, when the boss starts to roar:
"'Ere!  Why waste good wood?  Shove it on to the sor!"
   So we sors it in two, down the middle, an' then,
   Them there slabs swole an' swole; so we sors 'em agen
An' we sors, an' we sors; an' it sole an' it swole
Till the end of the day, when the tally, all tole,
   Was two thousan' foot super.  You doubt it? (said Bill)
   You ask any ole 'and at Switherton's mill!

Herald, 31 January 1933, p8

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2005