A Berlin cable announces that four prisoners were recently beheaded by an executioner in evening dress and wearing a top hat.
If I'm ever executed And quite easily I may My dispatcher must be suited In sartorial array That befits the great occasion. I refuse to be bumped off, Or to listen to persuasion, Lest he be a perfect toff. If he passes my inspection When he treads the gallows deck, Then in gratified subjection I'll extend my swan-like neck. But he simply may not back it -- And I must decline to die -- Should he wear a dinner jacket With a ready-made white tie. I shall voice extreme displeasure If I find him crudely dressed In a suit not made to measure With a pair of pants impressed. Then, in accents patronising, I'll upbraid such crude display; And, while he's apologising, I shall calmly walk away. Yet, if I am executed, I've a fear they will employ Some ill-mannered cove recruited From the ill-dressed hoi-polloi. And I'll yield my life, unhappy, To some prince of uncouth coots -- Some black darbled, shirt-sleeved chappie In a pair of blucher boots.
|Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2008-10|