"Eat More Butter" is the latest of many slogans coined to further food marketing campaigns, and every family in Australia is urged to consume one pound of butter extra each week.
Sir, -- I try to do my duty as a patriotic man With sane views about the science of gastronomy; And I'd ask the promulgators of each food consuming plan To consider man's interior economy. I shall not go into details. But I merely wish to say My observance hitherto has been meticulous Of the many noble slogans: but I fear the scheme today Has at last begun to merge with the ridiculous. Very nobly I responded to the urge to "Eat More Fruit"; I bought it and consumed it with avidity. I was keen to serve my country; and the diet seemd to suit (If we waive a tendency to slight acidity) Then the ringing slogan sounded thro' the contry: "Eat More Wheat!" I assimilated faithfully that cereal Then we were asked to eat more eggs, to eat more oats, more meat; While tissue waxed -- both moral and material. And now, sir, to my horror, "Eat more butter" is the plan. But I ask you: Can I hope to rise superior? There are symptoms. And I fear the patriotic outer man Is at issue, so to speak, with the interior, On, I long to do my gastronomic duty; yet I shrink I shudder -- tho' I swear I am no sceptic -- But butter! Slabs of butter! There are limits, don't you think? Sir, I remain, Yours faithfully, "DYSPEPTIC."
|Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2005|