Works in the Herald 1932

A recent alteration in coursing rules now permits that racing dogs may be "doped" with alcohol.

I'm only just a common racing dog,
   Simple in habit, and my diet's plain.
I have never had a longing for the grog
   That some men seem to need, more vim to gain.
And I have heard it said of such a one,
   Who in his swilling emulates the hogs:
"He's boozing day and night: he's getting done.
   Poor man," they say: "he's going to the dogs."

But now 'tis threatened that a dog should win
   A newer culture and a swifter pace
By taking to the whisky and the gin,
  That he may wax more reckless in the race.
And we, who hitherto have been content
   With just a lap of water and a rub,
Will soon enough contract that human bent
   Of knocking off and going to the pub.

And then, who knows?  Some badly balanced pup,
   Weak-willed, and too intent on hectic joys,
Will learn too soon the way to liquor up
   And have a jolly evening with the boys.
And we shall say of such a one, in blame:
   "It's quite all right to have one new and then;
But he has overdone this drinking game.
   Poor dog," we'll say: "He's going to the men."

Herald, 27 January 1932, p8

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2003-06