Works in the Herald 1931

Yet another scheme for juggling with Australia's finances has been evolved, this time by Mr Theodore. It is described as "the use of Government guarantees for the conveyance of credits." Meantime, eight earnest profesisonal economists, sitting in conference, urge that Australia's one hope of salvation lies in "reduction of wages, interest and public spending."

"There must be some way out," they say.
   "There must be some way out!
We've fallen on an evil day;
   That we no longer doubt.
But surely there's some magic rare
To banish this dull load of care,
   And strengthen out defences.
We'll find it, yet, if we but look;
But this is sure: By hook or crook,
   We won't cut down expenses!"

How like a harried housewife these Wild politicians seem. "Oh, George!" she cries. "Don't scold so, please! You must find some shrewd scheme. There surely must be some way out. What of those deals you talked about? Are all your plans pretences? I want a frock; I want a hat. My parties? Bridge debts? What of that? I can't cut down expenses!"
But George he knows, as well we know, There is but one way out: When incomes fall we must go slow. Stern facts no man may flout. And well we know, as George must know, A pound note just so far will go. And all men in their senses Well realise there's but one way, When we fall on an evil day - We've got to cut expenses.
The magic stone philosophers Sought in the olden years, May, by no chance, be ours, or hers, For all our pleas and tears. The only magic's common sense Despite vague schemes and sly pretence, Wrangles and differences. When economic stress appears, One warning echoes down the years: "Go slow, and cut expenses!"

Herald, 19 January 1931, p6

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2002-03