Works in the Herald 1929
Do you know Fred?  Now there's a man to know 
   These days when politics are in the air, 
An' argument is bargin' to an' fro
   Without a feller gittin' anywhere.
Fred never argues; he's too shrewd for that.  
   He's wise.  He knows the game from A to Z.
All politics is talkin' thro' the hat; 
   An' everyone is wrong -- exceptin' Fred.  

Fred says there ain't no sense in politics;
   Says he can't waste his time on all that rot.  
Trust him.  He's up to all their little tricks,
   You'd be surprised the cunnin' schemes he's got.  
Fred says compulsory voting is a cow.
   He has to vote, or else he would be fined, 
But he just spoils his paper anyhow,
   An' laughs at' em with his superior mind.

But when a law comes in that hits Fred's purse,
   You ought to hear him then.  Say, he does rouse;
Kicks up an awful row an' hurls his curse
   On every bloomin' member in the House.
He gives 'em nothin'; says they all are crook,
   All waitin' for a chance to turn their coats;
Says they are traitors; proves it by the book.
   An' can you wonder that he never votes?

Aw, say, you must know Fred.  You'll hear his skite
   Upon street corners all about the place.
An' if you up an' say it serves him right,
   He answers that it only proves his case:
Them politicians wouldn't tax him so
   Unless they were all crooked, like he said,
Where is the sense in votin' when they go
   An' rob a man like that.  Hurray for Fred!

Herald, 27 September 1929

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2002-03