Works in the Herald 1922

Indignant newspaper correspondents continue to complain of the conduct of suburban railways. We, ourselves, find little to complain about. Trains have never yet failed to get us to our destination -- some time or other.

We sit in the carriage with nothing to do.
We've done with the paper; we've read it right through.
Our int'rest in passengers flickers and fails;
So we hark to the song of the clattering rails.

It's a rickety ride --
A rickety ride.
Hope you're enjoying it,
people inside.
Ha! . . . . . . Ha!
Surely you are,
People inside,
Pocket your pride!
It's a rickety, rickety,
Rickety ride.
Poor Mr. Clapp --
Unfortunate chap!
They give him a grilling
Although he is willing.
Intolerant drapers,
Thye write to the papers,
And loudly complain
Concerning the train.
Rickety -- Rickety!
Don't be pernickety,
People inside!
Though it can't be denied,
It's a rickety, rickety,
Rickety ride.
They give him a grilling.
He's willing; he's willing!
He's doing his best,
But they give him no rest.
Still, it can't be denied
It's a rickety ride ....

We're five seconds late!
Do NOT be irate!
Wait! . . . . . Wait!
And bottle your hate.
Pocket your pride --
Pride . . . . . Pride.
It's a rickety ride.
He's willing!  he's willing!
(Your luggage is spi;;ing),
People inside,
It's a rickety ride.
   (Don't be pernickety!)
Still it's a rickety,
Rickety ride,
Rickety ride.
Curb indignation!
Obsreve toleration ....
SIX seconds late!
Wait! . . . . . Wait!
Curn indignation!
Here!  This is your station..
Brrrrr -- ump! -- Bump!
Now!  Out you jump!

Herald, 6 June 1922, p4

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2003-06