Works in the Herald 1922
PUBLICITY

Scene: Private sitting-room in a large hotel.

Characters: Expensive theatrical star (imported), his valet, a strange visitor.

The star, seated, in his dressing gown, is surrounded by a litter of papers, news clippings, letters, &c.

      (Enter Valet.)

Valet: Another gentleman to interview you, sir.

Star: Oh, this publicity! Can't a man have a few minutes of privacy in this country? Another newspaper fellow, I suppose. Show him in.

      (Enter Visitor.)

Star (languidly): You wish to interview me?

Visitor: I shan't take up much of your time.

Star: Fire away, What do you want to know?

Visitor: First of all, I should like to have some particulars regarding your salary.

Star (wearily): Oh, well, I suppose the public likes that sort of thing. I am getting £1200 a week while I am here.

Visitor (writing): £1200 per week. Thank you.

Star: By the way, I don't think I got your name. What paper do you represent?

Visitor: Paper? Oh, I'm not a reporter. I'm from the State Income Tax office.

      (Curtain.)

The Mooch of Life
"C. J. Dennis"
Herald, 15 May 1922, p6

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2002-03