Works in the Herald 1922

The Victorian Railways Commissioners, pleading that they have encountered many difficulties in converting the Caulfield line to electrification, ask for passengers' forbearance until the work is completed.

If you are stopped, just as the gate is closing,
   And bang upon the panels all in vain;
If you are thrust aside, and (just supposing,
   You really WANT to catch that special train)
If you should think the porter rather hard on
   A citizen, to leave you standing there,
Don't rave.  Just bow; and humbly beg his pardon.
   Please, passenger, forbear.

If you should chance, somehow, to pass the wicket, And get your luggage safe on to the racks, And then find you forgot to buy your ticket, And that the "Flying Gang" is on your tracks - Don't be annoyed if they scorn explanations And loudly ask you Why? And When? And Where? And humble you with - sundry appellations. Please, passenger, forbear!
If you should hear a languid lad surmising That some train serves your chosen destination; Then, as you time your exit, briskly rising, You find you're rushing madly past your station; Remember friend, that they're electrifying This line. Don't fret. Don't blame the "heads." DON'T swear! And, as you trudge home, while the day is dying, PLEASE! Passenger!! Forbear!!!

The Mooch of Life
"C. J. Dennis"
Herald, 24 May 1922, p8

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2002-03