Works in the Herald 1922
A LOVE LETTER
Mr. Blakeley, M.H.R., says that the Labor Party would support any move by Mr. Watt OR ANY OTHER MEMBER to smash the
You know you ever ARE the nearest
To my fond heart.
I swear, by all the silly stars above you,
Darling, I love you! ...
I really don't know what more I can say.
But, lest you may
Consider this epistle too brief,
And nurse some silly - some absurd belief
That I'm neglectful. Why,
To fill a sheet or two -
To comfort you.
What can I say?
Oh, by the way!
I noticed, somewhere, in the paper lately
That someone named - er - was it Mister Blaitley?
No - Blakeley, I think.
(Another dip of ink.)
This Mr. Blakeley says the Labor Party
Will gladly give support, both full and hearty,
To ANY man who send this person, Hughes
To - well, you know the term that I would use? . . .
Darling, I must fill out a sheet or two.
I know that you
Are not much interested in politics -
(You are so full of such distracting tricks)
And I remember that last time you noted
You said you simply doted
Upon one candidate's absurd moustache.
Dear, you were rash . . . .
Now, let me see, 'twas Brown - No? Smithson, was it?
I recollect the fool lost his deposit.
I want to warn you now
Against a repitition of such acts.
Let us get down to facts.
Can you believe -
Can you, my precious pippin, e'er conceive
That I (despite my faults and obvious failings) could -
(No; that's no good.)
You realise that a crowd of sane, honest, intelligent, right-thinking, earnest,
idealistic politicians can evolve a really patriotic plan
(That's getting scientific,
But I am most remarkably prolific)
They evolve a plan
Predicating that any ordinary and, say, unspecified man
(Your pardon! I do not
Refer to Mister Watt)
But do you think they can
With decency declare that ANY MAN
May get then into Office - if he can?
The more I go -
However, inter alia,
Think you such men give heed to our Australia?
Think you those burning
Questions waiting on the threshold yearning
To be discussed
Have got them "fussed"?
No, sweetest, no.
It's just the Game you know.
Think you they're patriotic,
Or just, well, say neurotic?
Think you they take the view
That these shrewd moves advance, say, me and you?
My dear, they don't.
And, while the Party System lasts, they won't.
Those vital questions,
Those statesmanlike suggestions
Regarding - well - why, emigration, say
And some reduction in a member's pay,
That linger on the doormat, palpitating,
Will go on waiting,
While puerile politicians "play the game."
Ain't it a shame? . . .
My cabbage! I'd forgotten
You always thought that politics were "rotten."
Pardon this leter.
Next time I shall endeavor to do better
If you are bored, old thug, it truly grieves me.
I hope this missive finds you as it leaves me.
So, dear, I'll meet you on the block at six.
And spite all politics,
We'll carry on.
P.S. - Don't show this screed to ANYONE.
It isn't done!
The Mooch of Life
"C. J. Dennis"
Herald, 18 May 1922, p6