Works in the Herald 1922
HEARD ON A DUMMY
While mooching home on a crowded tram last Saturday evening we gathered wisdon; thus:-
Tall youth (hanging precariously to stanchion): Hey! Didjer 'ear Collin'wood won be twelve goals?
Friend: Twelve goals? Aw, gorn!
Vivacious girl: Whadjer know about that?
Old lady (to friend): I always cooks plenty of salt in mine, me dear.
Tall youth: Wot erbout the "Eggs" now, eh?
A morose man: Umpirin'! Yeh don't call that umpirin'!
Vivacious girl: Now, whadjer know 'bout that?
Old lady: I boils 'em twenty minits, no more an' no less.
Red-faced man: 'Owjer come out, George?
George: Didina coupler quid.
Tall youth: 'Ow erbout S'n Kilder?
Friends: Aw, duds!
Vivacious girl (indignantly): Now, whadjer know 'bout THAT?
Old lady: Then I makes a bit o' white sorse an' --
Spectacled gentleman: Been dipping into Einstein's Theory or Relativity lately. Interesting when you get the hang of it.
Gripman: 'Old on at the curve!
Spectacled gentleman: The theory is --
Old lady: "Tripe!" I sez to 'im -- "That ain't tripe, it's -"
Loud voice: Tigers! Yah!
Vivacious girl: Now what DO yeh know about that?
"C. J. Dennis"
Herald, 5 June 1922, p4