Works in the Bulletin 1912

Mrs. Darling (S.A.) asked if the thrifty and the unthrifty man should have the same vote. (Voices: "No.") - Report Hobart Women's Conference.

When lovely woman stoops
   To criticise our laws,
The hardened cynic whoops
   And voices loud guffaws;
But, still, there's much the matter with the franchise,
   And lovely woman's found it full of flaws.

For instance, there's this plan, Which some uphold to-day, By which the thrifty man Has not one whit more say In the choosing of our noble legislators That he loafs the happy hours away.
'Tis clearly most unfair That he who busts his tin Should have an equal share In saying who'll go in To Parliament, to aggravate the Speaker As he who looks on spending as a sin.
They both should have a vote - (That's clearly in the game); But still, I'd have you note, It should not be the same; For, when the reckless bloke sends in a duffer, Why should we hold the thrifty man to blame?
(Of course, as now we live - To state the matter flat - We most absurdly give A special vote to Fat; But seeing Fat is not at all times thrifty, Then, plainly, lovely woman can't mean that.)
A Royal Commission is To me the only thing That could decide the biz. For surely that should bring Some evidence to light anent the thrifty And those who are disposed to have a fling.
A person's worth in cash, Of course would be no proof That he refrained from rash Experiments with "oof"; Nor should another's poverty be taken As evidence he shook the festive hoof.
But if we once could weed The sheep from out the goats Perhaps we might proceed Distributing the votes. I think I'd give the spendthrift person pink ones, And blue ones to the chap who socks his notes.
I have a notion slight That when I first began I'd other thoughts which might Elaborate this plan; But this thing keeps recurring to distract me: "Now what the dickens is a thrifty man?"

The Bulletin, 15 February 1912, p24

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2002