Works in the Bulletin 1912
THE SPRING STREET VAUDEVILLE
The debate on the censure motion was continued in the House of Representatives, etc., etc. - Frequent press item.
Quit your raving o'er Protection;
What's the good of lookin' sour?
Time enough for sad reflection,
Let's be merry for an hour.
Never mind the Referendum,
Claims and rights, and laws and such;
Let some other chap defend 'em;
We've been grieving over-much.
Let the other fellow worry;
Banish care, and let's go gay,
And with me to Spring-street hurry -
Come along and see the play!
* * * * *
SPRING STREET PLAYHOUSE (on the Hill).
Positively last appearance,
Of the great Freetection Troupe,
In the Playlet - "SOPS OR SOUP."
Just before the final clearance,
See the famous Fusion-disher.
ANDY FISHER, ANDY FISHER,
Who for public favor bids
With his latest - "QUIDS FOR KIDS."
ALFRED DEAKIN, ALFRED DEAKIN,
Come and hear this marvel speakin'!
Alf, the Human Gramophone,
In his act - "GIMME THAT BONE!"
BILLY HUGHES, BILLY HUGHES,
Here's a treat you should not lose!
He's the life of all the show: -
"TRUSTS I'VE BUST - OR NEARLY SO."
WILLIE KELLY, WILLIE KELLY,
Gets you shaking like a jelly
With his quaint absurdity -
"PERFECT TASTE, OR LOOK AT ME."
KINK O'MALLFY, KINK O'MALLEY,
And his Bounding Rooster Ballet: -
"Meet me on the Cotter's shore -
When it rains a little more."
JOSEPH COOK, JOSEPH COOK,
"I'll get there by Hook or Crook!"
See his great Impersonation -
"COOK! the man who made the nation!"
Screaming Farce, "THE UNNAMED FUSE,"
Led by Cook and Billy Hughes,
Which includes the Great Illusion,
"FREETRADE FREAKS"; or "What is Fusion?"
Ending with, "A TRUST BETRAYED";
Or, "HURROO FOR FOREIGN TRADE!"
Come and see this Funny Play!
Change of Programme ev'ry day.
Hear the song - "WILL VOTERS ROUSE?"
(Box plan at the Customs House.)
* * * * *
What's the use of gettin' savage?
It is vain to raise a row!
What if Foreign Traders ravage?
We can't mend these matters now!
We shall have our chance to mend 'em
Later, on election day.
Meanwhile, to the Devil send em -
Come along and see the Play!
The Bulletin, 18 July 1912, p11