Works in the Bulletin 1915
NO SPORT!
In the days of old, when a foeman bold
   Came on with a rush and a roar,
Gallant and dashing, his bright steel flashing,
   And honestly eager for gore;
We studied to slay him while ready to pay him
   Respect in a high degree;
For a fiercely frolicking, roaring, rollicking,
   Generous foe was he.

But the foe to-day has a sneaking way; He lurks in a secret lair; He crawls on his belly, and chemicals smelly He wafts on the good clean air. He's furtive and slimy, and ghoulish and grimy; He froths at the mouth with hate; He murders and ravages, shaming the savages - Simian up-to-date!
When the legions of France they led us a dance, In the days when a fight was clean, They slew and they fought as a gentleman ought, And they never did anything mean. With rifles and sabres they went for their neighbors, Ferocious, but ever polite. Vanquished, victorious, e'er were they glorious, Foes it was honor to fight.
But the Blutwurst breed it holds to the creed Of the vulture, the snake and the skunk, And it loves to go sneaking with chemicals reeking And methods that savor of funk. While prating of Culture, it soars like a vulture, And drops a foul death from the sky. It mauls us and mangles us; poisons and strangles us: Gloats when our children die.
When we fought a foe with a blow for a blow, And the chance of a good clean death, We could honor him well when one of us fell, Or both of us paused for breath. Though we jeered him and curst him, and battled to worst him, At least, when we finished the fray, Quits we could stand to him, giving our hand to him - That was the gentleman's way.
But the bounder who slinks with his gases and stinks - The slimy, unclassified squid, Who lurks 'neath the water all eager to slaughter The innocent woman and kid - The world is against him, and when we have fenced him And herded him close in his lair, If his God can endure him, we'll kill or we'll cure him, And cleanse once again the good air.

"Den"
The Bulletin, 24 June 1915, p36

Copyright © Perry Middlemiss 2003