Works in the Bulletin 1909
I trust our deliberations will be characterised neither by niggling nor peddling, but by strong views and broad views.
(Applause.) - ALFRED DEAKIN.
Oh, my brothers do not wrangle.
When the sweets of office dangle
At a most inviting angle
In the legislative struggle,
When in office safe you snuggle,
Then to jangle or to juggle
And, O never, never niggle!
Though the vulgar people giggle
When they see a statesman wriggle
To a place.
And, I prithee, never niggle;
With the man who stops to peddle,
For the act upon his head'll
And we ought to take a broad, strong view.
What's the matter if the prospect isn't new?
There is virtue in the viewing.
When it comes to merely doing,
Well, it's really not important what you do.
It's the view -
Never let the doing part embarrass you.
When in politics you dabble
Then of course you'll have to babble,
To the vote-possessing rabble -
'Tis the game.
When you engineer a shuffle
The ensuing party scuffle
Somebody is sure to ruffle,
All the same.
Then be wary; do not temble;
Smile politely and dissemble,
Though your actions do resemble
When your legislative symbol
Is the tricky pea and thimble
Your manipulations nimble
Are not faults.
But, I charge you, take a strong, broad view.
It is most entrancing when you have the screw.
There's no need to be exacting
In the manner of your acting;
'Tis the statesman's motto when dissensions brew
Watch the view -
And your story of the sight will see you through.
When a banquet you've to tackle
Where the ancient chestnuts crackle,
And you have to rise and cackle
To your kind.
Mayhap some hiccoughing freak'll
Rise and, venturing to speak, 'll
Mention you as "Misher Deakle,"
Let your honeyed phrases trickle,
And defend the Fusion pickle;
Show them that you are not fickle
In the least.
Say that, why we do not muzzle
Labor members is a puzzle;
And they'll cheer you as they guzzle
At the feast.
And bid them take a broad, strong view.
Bid them see around both corners, same as you.
You're the saviour of the nation
At a mayoral celebration
If you do not harp too much upon the "do."
Praise the view -
And they vow you are a stateman strong and true.
With this popular preamble
You may then adroitly amble
To the shocking party scramble.
Voice your fears.
Tell them Labor's sure to stumble
If it does not cease to grumble;
And each alderman will mumble
Glad "Hear, hears."
While the nuts they calmly nibble
Let vague phrases gently dribble;
Give them any quip or quibble.
But, ah prithee! do not trifle
With a hint of acts; and stifle
Any mention of a rifle
For there's safety in the strong, brod view.
The suppression of the hard, strong "do"
Is a matter most essential
When the Tory consequential
Is the man you reckon on to see you thro'.
Boost the view -
And they'll all begin to think they see it too.
Budding statesmen, there is muckle
In the View when you've to truckle
To the crowd that will not buckle
When your policy's a muddle,
And you're sailing in a puddle
With a Fusion crowd that huddle
On a raft;
Talk in vague, unmeaning jingle;
For the crowd with which you mingle
Holds within it scarce a single
One who'll work.
Here, where HANSARD's pages rustle,
Three a show of rush and bustle,
But there's ne'er a chance to hustle;
You must shirk.
Keep your eye upon the broad, strong view.
Call the crowd's attention to it till you're blue.
Keep them watching intently,
And you can con-ven-i-ently
Hate the fact that you hvae nothing much to do.
Praise the view -
And they may forget to keep an eye on you.
The Bulletin, 2 September 1909, p39